my soul wont recognize me after tonight
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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