My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Im just a social blackout drinker.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Is Oprah even human
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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