It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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