from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
