It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize