The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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