If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
