i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
