Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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