Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
