I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
