is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
