Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
someone threw a dead crab at me
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize