Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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