yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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