I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
