the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
