Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Only a mothe r could love this liver
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
