your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize