somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
