sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
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