So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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