Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
