i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Randomize
