Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
