I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
