Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
3 2 1 whiskey
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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