the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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