Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Randomize
