Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
