brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize