also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
