She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
