About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
