Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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