Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
