but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
