new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
