u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
