hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
