Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
