Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I touched a dick in church today
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize