this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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