I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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