Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
