My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
