I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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