Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
