I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize