Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
