hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
