I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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