The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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