woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
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