Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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