One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
