New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
