I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
