I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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