i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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