Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
