The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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