we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
